A View of Life where I am. It's just so simple.

okay.. I just don’t know..

I’m trying. I really am, and I realize that you aren’t getting on life’s good side, and it sure seems like life isn’t on yours either, but you’ve been punishing me so much.. I mean, you probably don’t mean to, but every now and then, you say things that really take a toll on me. and it’s been going on more often every day. I was relieved to hear that my brother made you smile and laugh, just for a night, but it’s changed back so quickly. I’m doing my best to hang in there.. but I feel like you haven’t been caring much about us.. and.. maybe we aren’t your top priority right now.. I know you’re busy with school and you’ve got reasons to be annoyed, bumbed, pissed off, depressed, what not..

and I’m sorry if I’m being selfish by talking like this.. but it’s been bothering me more and more.. It hurts..

it hurt to see you like this, it hurts what you say to me sometimes, it hurts to know that I can’t do anything, and it hurts that you agree that I can’t do anything…

I’m not giving up.. there’s no way.. but this is one of those obstacles in a long distance relationship that really tests us..

it sure is testing me.. Testing how I’d cope and handle.. I’m surprised I’m even trying, but you’re the reason I try..and I don’t want to fail another test… 

I miss the old you.. I miss your smile.. your laugh… if I could, I’d like to go all the way back to when we first fell in love… that way I wouldn’t have to feel so lonely.. 

because now.. now I feel lonely.. kinda like you barely care for me.. but you’re busy..

so, if you’re reading this, sorry to bother you.. just keep working and work hard.. I’ll still be here.. I needed to get this off my chest… 

I’m a selfish bastard, I know.. sorry again.

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